from an earlier blog I thought to start

sept 11 - I still lost
Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I didn't lose anyone that day, but i still lost

this will never be a day of parades or flags or 'support the troops' for me. it will probably always be a day of tears, of reflection on what our country lost that day and in the days and weeks and months that followed. and i will probably always be offended by those who try to make it into some ideal patriotism holiday.

today, for me, isn't about Petreaus or Bush or the presidential elections. it isn't about flags or concerts or amusement parks. it will never ever be about glorified speeches or Congressional hearings.

today, and every september 11, will be about a single beautiful fall morning with crystal clear skies, a spring in the step from the energy of the season. it will be about waking up to another day, as simple and plain as the last and as promising as the next.

it will be about that image captured forever in pictures, the tragic accident of the first plane, the horror of the second, the realization that my future and that of everyone else in this country will never be the same.

it will be about the sound of that plane overhead, looking up and thinking "that can't be right" as i rushed to the metro to be with others on this first day of a new world of fear.

it will be about going through the motions for a while as we all waited to learn the fate of our friends in NY and across the river in Virginia. it will be the deep sadness when we learned about the flight that went down in a field in Pennsylvania.

September 11 will always be a day of deep sadness for all that we went through that day receeding into the past, and all we have lost in the years since then.

on September 10th and 12th and every other day of the year, i will fight like a cornered tiger for my rights and my country.

on September 11, i weep.